and he spent the day in the hospital getting tests because he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He called me last week to let me know and during the last few days I have been trying to wrap my head around it and be positive about it. This is something that runs in my father’s family and he has images in his mind of his father and grandfather who suffered through the same thing.
I know that the most of my readers (if any) are probably not males that are in the age range to get their prostates checked but if you are, don’t delay. I know it is not the most enjoyable thing in the world but it is better to catch it early then to not catch it at all.
When my father called me with the news I started to cry because no matter how I would love to deny it, I am a Daddy’s girl. I have been since I was little, it was something that caused me pain in my teen years because I was treated like Daddy’s only and when I saw him going down a path that I knew was wrong and I couldn’t stop it, it caused friction between the two of us. So for a number of years I gave my father space so that he could find his own way, and I would not be hurt in the process.
When I was in my early 20’s I had emergency gall bladder surgery (another wonderful family trait) and that brought my father and I into talking again. In the process of us becoming close, I have found (to my pleasure) that I am a lot like my dad. We both enjoy our gardens and find our center when we are playing in the dirt. We also both take pride in our homes and enjoy being with our friends. I have picked up his no-stress attitude (even thought it fights with my urge to plan).
So while I was on the phone with him he is explaining what is happening and all I wanted was to be with him. I am find that it is very difficult for me to be here in NY and have him in FL. The only saving grace is that my brother is only a couple of hours from him and can be with him quickly, also that his wife is there and she is a no-nonsense type of woman and will let me know when I need to be done there.
I am finding this waiting game to be painful. Having work be so crazy is a bonus right now because it is helping keep my mind not totally focused on my dad.
I am not much for prayers, but I am trying to keep positive and have thoughts of my father in a healing white light. For those of you who have experienced family members with cancer or are going through it right now. I wish you the best and hope that things turn out for the best.
While my relationship with my family has not always been the best. I do love my Dad and know that he has not had the easiest life, but then again not many have. He has not let that put him down, or drag him into places that some go and can never get away from. He tries to move away from it and not let his past hinder his future. He is a goofy man, but I love him.
willow 